This week’s SAPCC’s challenge was “Time”.
I thought at first I’d recreate a moment in my rear view mirror in the car. I was coming out of the garage and as I looked in the mirror to guide me out, daylight hit the side of my face–I was illuminated by morning light.
It wasn’t morning in America, people.
I saw an old woman. Who’s that?? Me. Yikes.
Somehow the lines in my face don’t appear in my other mirrors or else I conveniently don’t “see” them. Time appears to be the most obvious entity in the world and yet it surprises us constantly.
This is not a question of looking good or looking badly. It is a simple reality of lines in ones’ face. They don’t come from a bad night’s sleep or an inexpensive moisturizer–only from living a long time. In that respect, given that those in my family were not so lucky to have a long life, I am silenced in my rising disquiet almost immediately.
But, it was a bell that tolled slowly and quietly all day and I decided not to use the mirror image for the challenge.
“Margaret, are you grieving?” Gerard Manley Hopkins asked in his poem about a young girl who is saddened by “goldengrove unleaving”, referring to the colorful leaves falling and baring the trees around her.
Margaret, silly sweet twit, (my term of endearment not Gerard’s)–it is as the poet writes, it is really you that you are grieving.
I heard this poem in my head throughout the day that included a wild wind storm and threats of tornadoes. High Wind Warnings were posted and “difficult” driving conditions for high profile vehicles were predicted. Sure enough– a tanker truck toppled over on the Interstate and tied up traffic for 9 hours.
I don’t have a high profile vehicle but I could feel the winds of time throwing me all over the damn road, along with every leaf once happily secured to a tree.
Time capsule be damned. No Spock. No Captain Kirk. It’s just me–Margaret, grown up now and driving alone on a stormy gray November day. My white knuckles tighten on the steering wheel and I begin to whistle even though I am the world’s worst whistler. I’m not scared. Not me. Am. Not. Ok. I am. I reach for the camera.
Now, this–this is the image I was waiting for–Click.
©Pat Coakley 2008
PHOTOGRAPHS CANNOT BE USED WITHOUT PERMISSION
Pat,
Your writing is as delicious as your picture, my friend. Excellent thoughts. What are you drinking this morning?!
More than winds, or time, I thought of the unforgiving nature of light. How my house doesn’t look so cluttered or stained under cover of shade or nighttime, but let the sun shine full and I see every dust bunny and fingerprint and kool-aid stain on the carpet. And those new fluorescent bulbs that decrease my footprint? Every line is magnified tenfold.
We are not aging, my friend. We are growing wiser . . .
Tysdaddy, I may be wiser but I also look like one of those Shar-Pei dogs.
Pat…. geeezz I want to know what you are drinking too! LOL Where is your mother’s compact I wonder? That will fix you right up. Don’t forget not to ever leave home without it! LOL
Amber, it is not a question of make-up. There’s no “fix” for mortality and some days you see it in the road and some days you don’t. This day was one of the former. But, that’s not to say that I couldn’t use a little powder on my shiny nose!
Oh, how do you always tie this all together and make such poetic sense out of the images, thoughts, fears, realities…it stuns me every time I read your posts.
There’s comfort in no longer being a high profile anything. We’re grounded and have our feet that now reside in sensible shoes, planted, rooted into the earth.
And until I put my glasses on, things don’t look so dusty and my reflection lets me recall a decade ago.
If getting older means I have something in common with YOU, then I’m not afraid either!!
And that photo! Shouts fleece lining and heater up to max.
I loves it. This is so fluid. It makes me want to grab on to the Oh Shit handle and throw my hands in the air all at the same time. You danger seeker you.
Okay, so I’ll go out on a limb here and say “Can I come and play?” Just how do you play anyway? I got the “russ” blog subscribed…now what? Hiiiiii….Russ. come see my pics. Pat says I should come out and play.
Pat it does indeed look like you were in a time warp in this picture…for us, your wisdom is contagious.
PS- I loved the Hey God it’s me, Margaret book!
This has a great sense of motion – so fast. I might get a little car sick just looking at it. Nice interpretation.
Bonnie, I’ve got my fleece on as we speak. Seriously, the singleforareason name is never truer than when seen in my bedroom attire. Am so glad you are back amidst your bloggin’ people. You’ve been missed.
Russ, I love the oh shit handle and throwing your hands in the air at the same time. I believe this is why no one will drive with me.
Sweetiegirlz! Yea! All you’ve got to do is do a photograph for next week’s challenge “Depth” (another terrific theme) and then link to Russ or Mt. Brooks and let them know it’s posted. I think that’s all you’ve got to do anyway!! Check Russ’s site for rules. I think he has one blog entry about that. Oh, and it should be an image taken within the week NOT from archives. That’s it.
Mt.Brooks, As I said to Russ, no one really ever wants to drive with me and car sickness has been feigned once or twice. I think they exaggerate.
My driving shots NEVER turn out this cool ad I have tried. Did you zoom in while shooting? I love that your urge is to grab the camera even in bad weather. It is mine too. This (& not my driving) is what scares my passengers most.
I too love your stories as much as the photos and I want you to know that I am reading even if I am not feeling profound enough to comment :) You certainly have a knack. I keep trying to take intentionally blurry images like yours from a few weeks ago & I have yet to have THE shot. I will let you know when it arrives.
Hello Conni who looks like Cate (Blanchette), we are early birds! No, it’s not a zoom. Not even I am capable of driving hands free at 40 mph in a wild storm! It is a wide angle lens, the shutter speed is 1/10th or below and that creates the intentional blurriness (the sides of the road), then camera shake from hand holding 1/10th takes care of the rest!! This works in some photos, not in others. Usually, I like to have something in focus but at 1/10th it’s always a gamble.
sweetiegirlz! Come play with us! Check out the rules at http://russhickman.wordpress.com/2008/10/23/sapcc-rulesregsthe-lowdown/
Oh, how I yearn for a wide angle lens :)
beautiful. calming and upsetting all at once
I like the shot but I’m starting to get a bit worried about you driving whilst taking photos. Talking on a cell phone is bad enough while driving.
It is a strange thing to have sight of one’s self in a way that makes you see yourself in a different way. I remember how shocked I was about 10 years ago when standing in a line at a post office I saw my bald spot in the monitor of a security camera for the first time. I remember thinking, “poor bastard’s loosing his hair”. “Wait a sec! That’s me!”
I was looking at some little movies my wife made as I was snorkelling the other day and sure enough there’s that bald spot again! A little bigger, but still there and the hair is a littler greyer to boot and the add insult to injury, I’ve put on weight.
Smack, just imagine if you were driving with me? Seriously, I don’t do any of this when someone is in the car with me.
Razz, it’s the only risky thing I do in my life, sad to say. And, I’m usually doing it early, early morning when there are few cars on the road. Having said that, the one I’m posting tomorrow shows quite another story. So, I better just be quiet.