Posted on by Pat Coakley

Flomax Queasy

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I haven’t been this uncomfortable watching the news since Clinton’s Impeachment trial.

If world and national news is not enough to make you quesy, I’d suggest tuning into Sunday morning news shows with anyone under…well, with anyone.

The young certainly would be horrified at their future and perhaps this is why everyone under 30 watches Stephen Cobert and Jon Stewart.

The old would be (and I’m in this category)..well, we would simply be embarrassed.  It’s not Clintonian tales of cigars, dresses and definitions of “it”–in fact, if Bill had had a touch of this, maybe we could have avoided the whole Monica thing in the first place?

It’s…well, it’s…. it’s ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION and MALE URINARY TRACK FLOW PROBLEMS, alright.

I don’t know why I’m uneasy typing these words since they are basically the only advertisers on TV but, c’mon.  Sunday morning!  Do I have to hear about reduced male sperm counts and stop and start urinary flow and erections that may last four hours AND see George Will at the same time?

I am sure the Supreme Ayatollah Pooh Bah would be happy to know that here in his beloved “WEST”, ED (erectile dysfuntion) and BPH (benign prostatic hyperplasia) sponsored fevered talk of an Iranian revolution on last Sunday’s (and every Sundays’) morning news shows.

If you want to get your news through Sunday morning TV, come prepared.

Cialis apparently lets you stand at attention for 36 hours even if there is breaking news or a pesky neighbor going ding dong.

Relocate your bathtubs, senior ladies.  Men and women with white hair apparently need bathtubs overlooking an ocean to get in the mood.

And, whatever you do, if you are watching the news with a man, be sure to clean the bathroom beforehand because he’s going to be vaulting from his La-Z -Boy every five minutes and looking anxious.

Oh, yes, one more thing.

Be prepared to shout, “For God’s sake, Lower the lid!” every time he rushes by you.

©Pat Coakley 2009

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17 Replies to “Flomax Queasy”

  1. I like that Sunday Morning show on CBS but I’m careful to record so I can skip past the stuff you’re talking about

    1. Davis, that IS one way around it but I like to watch these programs LIVE but no kidding…I can’t take another Sunday of this. Maybe there’ll be Jon Stewart reruns??

  2. you know i think it’s very important to actually see/recognize/know when you are being advertised to. often the ads just swim through between bites of breakfast danish dipped in coffee and you dont know you have eaten it
    until later in the market you get some sort of reflux and end up buying the thing. in this case, gladly, that will not happen.
    wonderful picture too!

    1. Tipota, THAT is a very good point. I never thought of it but it is so true. So many things affect us that fly right under our radar!

  3. Thank you for making me giggle in sympathy! My, those ads must be pretty interesting. Let’s add a few categories to the TV cringing ad list, shall we? Incontinence pads. Sanitary towels. Tampons. Underwear that holds EVERYTHING in. If you believe it. Wrinkle creams and tummy exercise machines and magic pills that will help you lose 20 pounds in 3 days as long as you buy 150 of the things. And meanwhile, everyone in the ads for these items runs around as if powered by a nuclear plant with no need for sleep. I think it just says one thing: the advertisers think we’re suckers and often, sadly, we are just that.
    Question: what on earth do you DO whilst standing to attention for 36 hours? Do you hide in the hot tub? Cos if I were a man of ANY age with ANY sort of ‘uprising’ going on in my pants, I think I’d be hiding in the bushes. The plant variety.

    1. Epic, I may not have phrased this delicate topic of 36 hour readiness properly…ahem, it is just that you’ll still be in the mood not torpedo ready. Oh, I’m making myself laugh, now.

    1. Epic, If someone thought my cravings could be found in the spam mail, the FBI would be the next knock on my door!

  5. It’s really outrageous, and shows the power of the drug companies — and their reasons for opposing any kind of health care reform. Many people become convinced they have a variety of diseases manufactured and sold by the pill pushers. And yes, lots of people go to their doctors, describe the symptoms they heard on tv, and get the drugs at exorbitant prices, all funded by the insurance companies who then need to rip the rest of us off to pay the bill. A real racket. So do we need health care reform in this country? I guess I’d vote for a health care revolution. Stepping off the soapbox now…

    Really nice picture by the way. I got so excited I almost forgot.

    1. Don, no need to get off your soapbox. This is a topic that requires awareness in order to deal with it. It is so outrageous…so entwined…that it makes my headache ache. Oh! I think I’ll take Tylenol 8 hr!! (Lame, I know)

  6. hooray for what donald writes above. i have this aversion to the belief system that those of us who become encircled in health care practices are perfunctorily expected to buy into, and a lot of it is nonsense or terrorizing tactics presented as educated medicine which isnt really the fault of the people who work there, it’s the effects of their highly subsidized training

    1. This is such a complicated topic! I remember my mother reading People magazine at the age of 90 and seeing drugs advertised and then calling me (and the doctor) and demanding that she needed this or that drug to sleep. She never read all the disclaimers of “Do Not Take IF….” which of course used a font accessible only to hummingbirds.

  7. I’m not sure I can add much to what I just read but, as always, your writing was captivating. I was really prepared for some talk about, well, the news but I was pleasantly surprised. I could not agree with you more. Did you see the one for the miracle eyelash DRUG? Yes, a DRUG that gives you thicker lashes. You should ask your doctor if it is right for you. No cure for cancer, but finally a cure for wimpy lashes in the form of a DRUG!
    Sorry, that is my biggest recent ad complaint. As for the ED, I cannot tell you enough how sad I am that Queen sold the rights to one of their songs for that sh*t. Also, I am pretty sure that every man in America knows about all of these options & they can now stop advertising.

    1. Oh, no…somehow I’ve missed the miracle eyelash drug! C’mon, we’ve gone crazy if we cure THAT before cancer. My mother used to keep a pair of false ones in her vanity drawer and they always creeped me out. She probably would have bought this drug!!! It’s the estate of Queen who sold the rights, correct? Or, are the rest of the members still operating?

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