I have a rental car for a week. Jesus.
Given the state of unavailability of the new car market, and the fact that after 7 years, I only have 31,000 miles on my 2014 car, I decided to glam it up instead of trying to buy a new one. I figure 5 thousand miles equals three more years and by 79….who the hell knows, I may be driving even less or not at all. So, I am having the dings and gouges removed from the passenger side and saving the $$ for a rainy day, which of course, at 76 in 2021, is permanently in my five-day forecast.
You start the rental by pressing on the brake and pressing the “start” button. That’s fine if I can find the damn car in the parking lot. Several times, I’ve looked intensely for my old black SUV instead of a white rental SUV and each time thought at first, bile rising, “Oh, God, my car’s been stolen.” Followed, eventually, by “Rental car, remember?”.
Ok. Once inside, I press on the accelerator but think it is the brake and press “Start”. Nothing. I press again and press “Start”, nothing. Bile begins to rise, “Oh, God, the car won’t start.” Wait. Am I pressing on the accelerator or brake? Realize it is not the brake and then, much to my relief, start the car.
The next day, I go to start the car in the garage, by pressing correctly on the brake and pressing the “start” button and nothing happens. And, I mean nothing. Not even the click click click noise you used to hear when the battery was dead in old cars. I bent down to make sure I was pressing on the brake and tried again. Silencio. It has a warning image on a display that suggests the start button + icon of something is required.
Jesus. Oh. For God’s sake. Bile rising.
It won’t start. I’ll have to call AAA. Did I renew that membership? I’ve only driven a hundred miles in 18 months. And maybe call AA, too, because I may need to start drinking heavily to survive senescence. Why don’t they have the key start like normal cars?
Wait. Is that “+ icon” a key? Where’s the key they gave me? I have a different tote bag next to me than yesterday’s trip. So, I go back into the house to retrieve the key from the other bag.
Back to the garage. Take the key out. Press on the accelerator and press “Start”.
It starts. Bile lowered.
Four more days of this Bile-A-Palooza machine.
